


I Know You're A Man But I'm Gonna Treat You Like A Woman

by Wyatt



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Gen, Love Confessions, Temporarily Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 19:32:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5218058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wyatt/pseuds/Wyatt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint doesn't know how to tell Natasha how he feels about her. Tony, always eager to help out a comrade in need, suggests they do role play. It's not weird at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Know You're A Man But I'm Gonna Treat You Like A Woman

**Author's Note:**

> This needs a little less conversation, a little more action please. Posting it anyway. You know how it is. Unbeated.

It was early morning in the Avengers Tower and all of its other occupants were either still asleep or in Steve's case going for a run. Clint knew this because he'd past him in the hall on his way to the kitchen. And even if he hadn't the freshly brewed coffee in the coffee pot was evidence enough. Steve would make it every morning for all the early birds among them just before he went out.

Clint poured himself a cup. He wasn't an early bird. Usually the pot was already empty before he came down to the kitchen. Sipping the dark liquid, Clint made a mental note to get up around this time more often, which brought him back to the actual reason he was up this early. Well, today was going to be the day.

After weeks – months, really – of thinking it over he'd finally decided to tell Natasha about his feelings for her. The only thing left to do now was to figure out _how_ exactly he was going to tell her.

Taking another sip, he walked to the common area and sat down on the couch.

“I'm in love with you,” said Clint, testing the words but wincing as soon as they'd left his tongue. Too blunt. What if she didn't feel the same way?

“I think I love you.” No, that would imply that he wasn't sure if he loved her. He was. No, really he was.

“What about 'I might be head over heels for you'?” he asked himself but shook his head. He sat his coffee aside. “Too cheesy.” And still implying he wasn't sure.

“Then maybe 'I've fallen for you... hard',” he said. A pause and then he groaned, throwing his arms up in the air in frustration. “That sounded just plain stupid.”

“What sounds stupid?” asked a male voice. Clint's head shot up just in time to see Tony appear in the doorway – his own cup of freshly brewed coffee in his hand.

“Nothing,” replied Clint, trying to sound casual. What was Stark doing up this early? Scratch that. What had he been thinking doing this in the common room of all places? “Just making up some awful nicknames for Phil to tease him later with.”

Clint was pretty proud of his lie, it sounded actually like something he would do, but Tony seemed wary of his answer anyway and rose an eyebrow at him. “ You know, I could just ask JARVIS what you'd been doing,” he countered.

Clint's face fell. Tony grinned in victory.

“Fine. I was preparing myself for a confession,” he explained, putting it like it was nothing.

“Okay.” Tony dragged the word out, making it sound more like a question.

“I think I finally found the courage to tell Natasha how I fell,” elaborated Clint, looking down at his hands and smiling softly.

Tony, probably tired of standing, sat down in the armchair opposite the couch. “And how is that going so far?” he asked.

“I haven't been able to find the right words yet,” admitted Clint, looking back up.

“So what _did_ you come up with?” Why Tony was so interested was beyond Clint. He contemplated whether Tony knowing would be a disaster or not. Surely he would laugh at him. But then again, Tony just needed to ask JARVIS if Clint refused to answer him.

“Dead silence. Great. That's gonna work just brilliant,” said Tony when Clint took too long to say something, rolling his eyes at the archer in a dramatic manner. “What's wrong with a short and simple 'I love you'? It's worked for so many people already.”

“There isn't. It's just-”

“You're scared you won't be able to play it down in case she doesn't feel the same way,” finished Tony for him.

Clint looked at him through narrow eyes. “Exactly.”

“I'm a genius, remember?” answered Tony grinning.

Clint had to suppress the urge to roll his eyes. “Yea, yea. And what does the genius suggest I do?” Clint immediately regretted saying those words as he saw Tony's grin widen in response. The billionaire had lain out a trap and Clint had walked right in.

“I know just what you need,” said Tony, looking far too excited for Clint's liking.

“I'm afraid to ask.” It went against Clint's better judgment but he was kinda desperate here.

“Don't be. It's going to be fun,” assured Tony him, grinning again. “First, you need to show me what you got, though.”

“What do you mean?” asked Clint.

“We'll do a little role play. I'll be Natasha and you just confess away,” explained Tony.

Clint turned beet right. “I'm not going to do that! It's weird.” he exclaimed.

“Come on. You can't back out now,” said Tony, chuckling lightly.

“Yes, I can!” retorted Clint still red.

Tony gave him a look. “I can't help you otherwise.”

“Fine,” said Clint, giving in. “But you better not be enjoying this!”

“Wouldn't dream of it.” With a satisfied smile, Tony sat his own coffee aside, got up and asked Clint to do the same. “We're gonna do this properly.”

Clint sighed but got up and moved around the table to stand in front of Tony. He met Tony's gaze and took a deep breath. “I love you,” he blurted out. This was ridiculous.

There was a pause before Tony opened his mouth to answer. “I'm not convinced. Again.”

“Tony,” warned Clint. “This isn't helping me at all.”

“Just keep going,” replied Tony.

“No. If you're so much better at this than me why don't you show me how it's done first?” suggested Clint.

“That would be easier, right?” For a second Clint could swear he saw a spark in those damn Bambi eyes of his. And had that been his tongue darting out to lick his lips?

Although it had been a rhetorical question, Clint couldn't help but reply: “You're the genius.”

“Okay, so if you want to be successful in your seduction it's not just about what you say, but also about what your body does while saying it,” explained Tony.

“Hold on. No one said anything about seducing Natasha. I want to confess.”

“And you will. But you also want her to feel the same which is why you're going with my method.” Clint couldn't believe he was actually this desperate.

“Fine, go on.”

“Good. First,” he started, bringing one hand up to Clint's face, touching his cheek with the back of his fingers, before letting them wander to the back of his neck.

“I don't think Natasha will let me-” Tony cut him off with a glare.

“You plunge your hand into their hair and...” A chill ran down his spine and Clint was literally frozen in place when Tony let his fingers dig into his hair, slightly massaging his skull. Instinct told him to lean into the touch.

With a soft smile Tony continued: “You stare them deep into their eyes...” Suddenly he was much more closer than before, bringing his other hand up to cup Clint's cheek in his palm. Clint swallowed, starring into Tony's deep drown eyes. Had they always been so beautiful up close?

When Tony started to lean in, though, Clint backed away, immediately taking Tony's hands off of him.

“What was that?” he asked, alarmed.

“I wasn't actually gonna kiss you,” answered Tony.

“Good.” It was the only thing he could think of to say. Of course he didn't believe a word Tony said but it was easier to just play along and pretend this never happened. “I'll... I'll leave,” he said, heading for the door.

Tony nodded and watched him leave.

When he was certain that Clint was gone he ran his fingers through his hair and let out a low curse. He hadn't meant to screw things up between them. He'd just been so desperate. Clint had been preparing to confess his love to someone that wasn't him. Everyone knew that Natasha and Clint were just one step away from being an item. Tony had had to do something. Even if it meant jeopardizing their friendship. The only thing left to do now was to wait and see how things unfolded from here.


End file.
